Defensive Pessimism

I was reading the March 2009 issue of O Magazine today, and found this fascinating article called Revenge of the Pessimists. The article is online (with a different title, oddly enough) here, but I'm going to cut and paste it here as well:

The Power of Negative Thinking By Tim Jarvis Cheer up. Be happy. Find the silver lining. Smile. If you didn't know any better, you might say we're a country that preaches optimism. But some 30 to 35 percent of Americans employ a calculated form of negative thinking—called defensive pessimism—that can lead to very positive results, according to Julie K. Norem, PhD, a professor of psychology at Wellesley College.

We're not talking about a general disposition to see the glass half-empty: "Defensive pessimism is a strategy used in specific situations to manage anxiety, fear, and worry," says Norem, who has conducted seminal research on the subject. "Defensive pessimists," she says, "prepare for a situation by setting low expectations for themselves, then follow up with a very detailed assessment of everything that may go wrong." Once they've imagined the full range of bad outcomes, they start figuring out how they'll handle them, and that gives them a sense of control.

"What's intriguing about defensive pessimists," adds Lawrence Sanna, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, who has also studied the phenomenon, "is that they tend to be very successful people, and so their low opinion of the outcome isn't realistic; they use it to motivate themselves to perform better." For example, an executive is getting ready to pitch a project, and she thinks beforehand, "The client is going to be really difficult; he's not going to like my proposal. I have to make sure I explain things very clearly." "She uses defensive pessimism as a tool to work through all the possibilities so she's prepared for everything, even failure," Sanna says. "And if she does fail, she's ready for it, so it's not so catastrophic."

If all this sounds familiar (take the quiz to see if you use defensive pessimism), a piece of advice from the experts may give you a lift: Don't listen to appeals from friends or family to look on the bright side. "Research shows that if you pressure defensive pessimists into being optimistic, or try to manipulate their mood, their performance deteriorates," says Andrew J. Elliot, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. One of the most frequent comments Norem got after publishing The Positive Power of Negative Thinking in 2001 was "Thank you. I can finally tell my mother to shut up."

What was fascinating about this article is that it's the first time I've seen an explanation for the a major communication difference between my husband and me. Take, for instance, the recession. We're not having any financial difficulties right now (well, other than debt I'm paying off), but I've been thinking about a lot of "what ifs" about if he loses his job (which is a possibility, albeit a lessening one), how we need to start reigning in our spending, holding onto what we have just in case, building our emergency fund, etc. I do not believe we're going to starve to death on the street, but I want to be prepared. I want to think about the worst case scenario briefly and have a plan of action. He wants to sit with his rose-colored glasses, saying that everything is fine, accuses of me of being in a panic about it, and invoking the Law of Attraction, that by worrying about it, I am going to manifest it. So this was the first time I've ever seen anything that validated my way of thinking and processing, and saying that it could be plausible and actually helpful to some. I'm not saying that defensive pessimism is the best way to go about brainstorming issues, but it seems to be one that I've adopted, for better or worse. Our conversations always made me feel a little bit like I was doing something wrong. But reading this article was actually empowering - knowing it's okay to feel that way. And I see it in action in other areas too. Like on the message boards I frequent to discuss Weight Watchers - we have these little tickers that many of us put on our posts to show our weight progress. I also have a "mini-goal" ticker where I decide I will lose X amount of pounds in X weeks (because it's less overwhelming than seeing that I need to lose 125 to get to goal). I always pick something that is so attainable that it's laughable. Because of my high weight, it's not difficult for me to lose 1 lb. a week or more. But my mini-goal might reflect that I can lose 1 lb. in 2 or 3 weeks. I figure there's more power in blasting through that goal quickly, rather than setting myself up for what happens if I stretch the goal and don't make it. I'm hoping that reading this article will help me feel a little better about myself, since the message I usually get is that I'm wrong in thinking about this. So I'm not wrong. Just different. I like different. :)