Adventures With Au Jus

I decided that despite having lunch with me today, I wanted something different. So on my way back to the office from my favorite credit union, I stopped at Quizos. Quiznos is kinda overrated, in my humble opinion, and kinda expensive, but I took a liking to them when they had those spongemonkey commercials: I swear that the line about "they've got a pepper bar!!!" will continue to haunt my memories! LOL! But I digress. I order a sandwich that I enjoy, the Steakhouse Beef Dip, and the ingredients are supposed to be "Roast Beef, Swiss, French Onion Sauce, Pan-Roasted Au Jus." I've had this quite a lot, so I know what the Au Jus is supposed to look like. And I know what Au Jus looks like in general - kinda like a cup of bouillon. But not this time. This time it looks like mole sauce. It looks like really dark chocolate soup. I'm scared; I ain't eating that stuff, so I set it aside. I'm eating my sandwich and there's a burned section of bun on it. So I tear it off and dip it into the au jus, just to see if it's really as thick as it looks. Yes, it has coated the bread like when you dip strawberries in chocolate. I leave it there in the au jus and continue to eat my sandwich. It does not soak up the au jus. This is curious, as au jus is liquid, and bread should be soaking it up. But the bread sits there on the au jus like a stranded life raft. Now I feel like experimenting. I tear off a piece of napkin. Surely, the napkin will soak it up; it's liquid after all. Nope. The napkin actually sits on top of it. This stuff has the viscosity of really dirty motor oil. I finish my sandwich and still the bread and the napkin are sitting on top of this "liquid." I'm sitting there laughing at the whole situation, and the sad fact that this is supposed to be food. I'm grateful that something so ridiculous could put a smile on my face and make an otherwise boring lunch kinda fun. I do think, however, that I'm gonna lay off the Quiznos for a while. I don't need any more surprises!